A Wrestle With God

Hi everybody!

It's been a while since I sent my last email- hopefully you didn't miss me too much ;) hahaha. Anyway, not much has happened. Just the same old quarantine life. 

Last Sunday, though we did have a unique experience as a mission. In Enos, in the Book of Mormon, he describes his "wrestle with God," which consisted of him praying all day and all night, pleading with God to forgive him of his sins and to help him with the wickedness of the people. Our Mission President asked us to have a similar experience to Enos, one in which we spent an entire day- from the time we woke up to the time we went to bed- on our knees, praying. When I first heard we were being asked to do that, honestly, I was pretty skeptical... It just seemed very extreme. But, as Nephi says, "Nevertheless I went forth," and I was on my knees, praying, for 14 hours. It turned out to be a very spiritual and peaceful experience!! One that I will never forget. I have since recieved many answers to my questions and blessings that I prayed for, and was able to act on promptings that I recieved while praying (I made sure to write them all down). 

However, probably the most important thing that I realized was that, when you say you're normal morning and night prayers, at least for me, my list of "please bless this and please bless that" always seems to be longer than my list of thank you's. I just say thank you for the regular stuff like family, health, good sleep, the gospel, etc. But, as I literally had an entire day to pray and wasn't rushed on time, I split up my prayers. First I did a prayer of thanksgiving, just taking the time to really think and say thank you for everything, and then a prayer asking for blessings. What I realized is that my prayer giving thanks ended up being WAY longer than my prayer of asking for blessings, because when I really had the time to sit and think and reflect on everything, there are sooooooo many specific things that I am grateful for, that normally, I don't take the time to thank heavenly father for because in my short little prayers I just try and get in the really "important" stuff. But this experience made me so appreciative and it made me reflect on how really loving and giving Heavenly Father is to us, and how truly blessed and lucky I am to have everything that I do in my life. It made me think more positively about everything.

While I was very skeptical and little negative about it at first, I am forever grateful for the opportunity I had to spend an entire day in prayer, talking with my Heavenly Father- it is an experience I will likely never have again in my life. I'm grateful for my the inspiration my Mission President recieved in asking us to do that. I would extend an invitation to you all, not to pray for 14 hours (haha!), but to spend more time in your daily prayers. Being honest and thoughtful about what you are thankful for and for the blessings you truly need. Don't make prayer simply another box to check off along with everything else we need to get done during the day- make it a priority, a privilege. 

Other than that, life somehow continues to go on here, even though sometimes it feels like we're at a standstill! Our Mission President, President Nygaard's, birthday was yesterday, so everyone in the Nampa and Kuna Zones decorated our cars and made signs and did a drive-by Happy Birthday celebration for him. It was so fun! His reaction was so cute and appreciative, it was definitely a bright spot in everyone's day. 

I love you all! Thank you for all the emails, thoughts, and prayers. As always, they make me soooo happy!! Stay healthy!

Hermana Rawlins

Pictures:

1. Us and our Sister Training Leaders, Sister Adams and Sister Hemming. We had a movie night and watched "The Other Side of Heaven" SO GOOD 10/10 recommend. Changed my whole mindset of my mission experience. 

2. My mom had Outback delivered to our door!!! After weeks of living off of food storage, we almost cried of excitement. 

3. Language study outside the church building with the spanish elders! (and Dutch Bros of course ;))

4. Us in our pajamas heading over to our movie night with the STLs- it felt SO weird leaving the house like that, lol.

5. Had exchanges with Sister Adams so she was my companion for the day! We went to Reed's Dairy to celebrate my 6 MONTHS on the mission!! 

Quarantine Day 1039572918

Hi friends :)

I hope this email finds you all happy and healthy. I'm not sure if I should even still send these emails cause, honestly, not much is happening. Hahaha.

The plague of the Corona Virus continues, as does our mission-wide quarantine. We are still keeping busy (well trying to anyway) with the same things- studying, reading, facebook, 1 hour of board games. It's hard. Especially hard cause most of my friends have returned home from their missions, due to the release of pretty much all missionaries serving foreign. But I know I am out here for a reason. Heavenly Father knew this would happen when he called me to be a missionary. Though the events and situation of the world are imperfect, the plan they are all encompassed in IS perfect. I know that much. 

Another transfer came and went, and I am staying in Nampa with Hermana Sanchez for at least another 6 weeks! We are very happy- no one greater to spend a quarantine with! :)

I so love and appreciate all those who have reached out and sent emails. It always makes my day- I read them over and over again! Hahaha. Please stay safe and healthy, and stay inside!! Also, please join us in a worldwide fast this Friday, April 10th, that the pandemic may be controlled, caregivers protected, economy strengthened, and life normalized. Prayer and fasting work- I can testify of that. 

All my love,

Hermana Rawlins